Like everyone else, I am shocked and saddened by the events that have occurred at Virginia Tech. It’s always sad when someone’s life ends, but it’s that much harder to understand when it seems so random and senseless, and bright futures are wiped away.

However, from a sociological standpoint, it was interesting to watch what happened. Some students rushed home to be with their families. Others created impromptu candlelight vigils- and not just once, but several times.

It really made me glad to see that. C.S. Lewis, upon the death of his wife, wrote, “Joy shared is joy increased; grief shared is grief diminished.”

When we have something major happen in our lives, good or bad, one of our first instincts is often to reach out to those closest to us. Likewise, when a tragedy like the one at Virginia Tech occurs, those affected want to be near others who share their grief.

It’s not necessary to have answers. There are no magical “right words” that will bring sense to an illogical situation, or that will make the pain go right away.  Often, all that is needed at that moment is to be surrounded by people who care and who share your grief, so the path to acceptance and healing can begin.

This is why I feel so strongly in the value of having a visitation when a loved one dies.

This is true regardless of whether what you are dealing with is a mass, public tragedy like this one, or something that is a tragedy only for you.  Pain is pain, period.